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The Man Who Turned Out Gay
The night is bitter
And he's aglow in glitter
He's on the dance floor
Leaving you to sit and drink more
And all because he's the man who turned out gay
You'd like to feel his kiss
But he's loosened up his wrists
Those dreams you've dreamed have all gone astray
The man who stunned you
Has come out and undone you
Your great beginning
Won't ever see an inning
Don't know what happened
It's all a crazy game
It's only friends from here
But you get to shop with your queer
And never your wardrobe will be the same
You ask yourself why
You never saw the signs of "Gay Guy"
He worships Calvin Klein and Lady Gaga
You see him grinding
And now you're realizing
You won't romance him
Just find a way to get past him
Keep on drinking this goddamned Diet Coke
'Cuz ever since this world began
There's nothing sadder than
The Mormon girl praying for the man who turned out gay
The man who turned out gay
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