For Every Mormon

To my heterosexual, actively practicing Latter-Day Saint friends and family,

There have been many recent teen suicides in northern UT, with at least three happening within the last three weeks in Ogden and Davis County. Some of the teens who have taken their lives within the past school year are known to be LDS and LGBTQ/gay. Many of the teens who have taken their lives have confronted bullying in their schools, their churches, and their homes because they have either come out or assumptions made by bullies about perceived sexual orientation.

Being a gay Latter-Day Saint is challenging enough for an adult, let alone a young person who is trying to navigate the myriad of feelings and the many turns a teen's life takes while they mature. It's a challenging time when you are really figuring out who you are and how you wish to live your life. Add to the usual mix of teen angst and emotion and push-and-pull the weight of recognizing you're gay. It can be confusing and scary, full of questions. What do I do now? Am I the only one? Do other people know? Will I be targeted by violence? Add to those kinds of vexing questions the kinds of anxiety-ridden questions that come to gay members of the LDS church. Does Heavenly Father love me? Why would He do this to me? How will I ever fit into the Plan of Salvation? How will I ever be able to live with my family in the Celestial Kingdom? How can I serve a mission and spend every single day for two years with companion? If I don't serve a mission, how can I hold my head up at church? What will people say about me? What will people say about my family? How can I marry and have my own family? Should I come out to my family? Am I an abomination? Am I better off dead? Will it be easier for my family to deal with a gay son or a son who took his life?

I'm not asking for a dispensation from Salt Lake to change doctrines. My question to all faithful members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, whether you're active or inactive or membered or exed or voluntarliy removed, is this: How do we apply the MINISTRY of the Gospel in such a way that these kids (and adults) feel they can continue to breathe under the crushing millstone of weight that is figuring out how to be a happy, healthy gay Mormon? How do we light a fire so bright it will inspire mothers and local stake and ward Priesthood leaders who carry current temple recommends to speak up and save our kids without fearing they'll lose temple recommends or arouse church discipline? Active LDS members, we need you to feel safe that our camp is yours, that your firesides are ours. We want you to ride in our wagons, we want to pull your handcarts. We want to find this-is-the-place where there is no "ours" or "yours."

I imagine, brothers and sisters, that you have understandable fears for yourselves and for your families if you answer this kind of call. It's is terrifying to "come out." Don't we who have come out as LGBTQ know it?! ;)

If you are afraid, let me be a bridge. Let me help you understand. You don't need to come out as gay, but please, if you feel so moved, come out as an active Mormon ally. There are queer people in your wards and in your stakes. They need to know they have a friend who will only love. No judgement and no doctrine outside this: God is love. We are His children. We are called to love one another. Love is the most powerful force for progression in all creation. And give them hugs.

If you want to know more about how to become an ally, please meet with us on May 17th at the Ogden Maine Library at 7:15.

I come to you with great love and a humble heart. We are a people with a heritage of faith that shows us miracles. We celebrate a heritage of pioneers who pressed forward and found a place where life could be lived in unity and peace. We are all brothers and sisters, Children of God. Let's build His kingdom together.

http://www.facebook.com/events/208452002606371/

This Little Light of Mine

From a Press Release, April 26, 2010

On Monday, April 23, 18-year-old Alex Smith spoke on a community panel at a screening of “Bullied,” telling the packed room about the bullying his boyfriend experienced at school. What no one in the room yet knew, including Alex, was that his boyfriend had already taken his own life. 

This death is the latest known suicide of a gay teen in Northern Utah. One official says, off the record: “It happens here about once a week,” but then quickly adds, “but officially, you know, it doesn’t happen here." 

OUTreach is hosting a community response: “A Community Stands up - Northern Utah Addresses LGBT Bullying and Suicide.” It will take place May 1st, 6:30 pm at the Ogden Amphitheater, 343 E 25th ST, Ogden, UT. The purpose of the event is for the community to stand in solidarity with (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) LGBT youth, to speak out and express grief and outrage at yet another loss of life in Northern Utah and to witness for the need for immediate change in schools, churches and society. Until ALL youth are loved and accepted in their homes, able to attend school without fear of bullying, and know that their lives are worth living, this community will continue to demand change.

Numerous community leaders, educators, parents and youth will speak out for acceptance and love for LGBT youth, including active members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. At the request of Alex Smith, a candlelight vigil will be held at the conclusion of the event. 

OUTreach Executive Director Marian Edmonds notes: “The youth I work with all know either a victim of bullying, the loss of a friend to suicide, and most often, both. These youth are bright, creative, and loving, yet too often face daily abuse from rejecting families, bullies at school and the loss of their church family. It is time for local schools to incorporate proven techniques for eliminating bullying and homophobia, for churches to preach love and acceptance, and for parents and families to love and accept their children. Each loss of life is a loss for all of us, and it must stop now.”

I spoke as a member of the original "Bullied" panel.

I cried when we learned that Alex's boyfriend had taken his life because he felt living was too much to bear.

I helped to plan and direct the event, A Community Stands - Northern Utah Addresses LGBT Bullying and Suicide.

I participated in providing music for the event with Sam and Jen.

I shared in the feeling of this community.  There was so much love and unity and oneness of vision -- this was truly one of the most "temple" kind of experiences I have ever experienced.  I know God was with us.  God was in us.

I never wanted to become an activist.  I have fought the call because I have been afraid.  I won't be afraid anymore.  God blessed me with a big voice, a big laugh, and a big heart.  I'm using them to speak up and stand on the side of love.

My message has never been one of destruction.  I do not wish to destroy the faith tradition in which I was raised.  I am a Mormon.  I am gay.  I am a man.  I am a musician.  I am a human who isn't merely being.  My message is that we are all christened Children of God.  We are all called to love.

I am a bridge.  I am a light.  I am a prayer.

So are you.

"All Photo Credits: Only In Ogden"

I'm Gonna Let It Shine!